i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
