Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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