i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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