I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize