Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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