ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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