You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Umm I'm too high to move.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
