Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
