well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
