We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
