It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
