did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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