Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize