life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
