how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
