keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
