i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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