I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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