once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
