Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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