Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize