I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I need to sanitize my soul.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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