He is an equal opportunity slut.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
