accomplished twins. life is a go
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
