ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We have started to decorate penises.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize