She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
