Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
