what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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