You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
