Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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