You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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