First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
