She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
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When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
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I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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