...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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