Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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