Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
