I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
