It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
