i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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