I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
