Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just cropdusted the office
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize