Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
