Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
