Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
