I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
