Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
