I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
