Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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