the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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