It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just high enough for therapy.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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