You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
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Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
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I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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