There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it's like iHOP with fire
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
