He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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