So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
