So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
