He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
