I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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