Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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