i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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