but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
