also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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